Cohabitation Agreement

01

Decision-Making & Household Authority

Trevor is the final decision-maker in the household. Once a decision has been made, it is made. It will not be revisited through argument, repeated pushback, or passive resistance.

Party B may express disagreement once, calmly, and from the heart. After that, the decision stands. There will be no back-and-forth, no escalating debates, and no continued pressure campaigns.

Raised voices, hostility, and aggressive communication are not acceptable in any form. If Party B cannot express a concern calmly and constructively, the conversation ends until that is possible.

The household will have no bad vibes. No walking on eggshells. No tension that hangs in the air. If the environment becomes toxic, the arrangement ends.

02

Priorities & Lifestyle

Trevor's priority order is: Work. Golf and friends. Family. This is not a reflection of love -- it is the structure that allows him to function at his best. Party B accepts this fully and without resentment.

When Party B or the girls genuinely need Trevor, he will show up. But his baseline life -- his routine, his schedule, his commitments -- does not get renegotiated because we share a home.

Golf, wine, dinners, travel, and time with friends are part of Trevor's life. They were before this arrangement and will continue to be. These are not up for negotiation.

Trevor works the hours he works. His work schedule is not a point of contention. He will not be made to feel guilty for working, for traveling for work, or for being unavailable during focus hours.

03

Household Standards

The home will be maintained at Trevor's standard. That standard is: clean, organized, minimalistic, and visually calm at all times.

Professional cleaning staff will be in the home a minimum of three days per week. This is not a topic for debate. If Party B wishes to supplement with her own cleaning, that is welcome. The cleaners stay regardless.

The home will be minimalistic. There will not be clutter, excess furniture, piles of items, or visual noise in shared spaces. If something cannot be stored properly and out of sight, it does not belong in the home.

The girls are welcome to have their belongings in their personal spaces. Common areas and Trevor's spaces remain minimal and clean.

If Trevor determines that something does not belong in the home, it will be removed. There will be no argument about it.

04

Staff & Assistants

Trevor will always have assistants and staff as part of his life and operation. This is not going to change. They are a fixture, not a novelty.

All staff are to be treated with genuine respect at all times. Not tolerated. Not iced out. Not made to feel unwelcome. Actually respected.

Past patterns where staff felt disrespected, excluded, or pushed away will not be repeated. This is a hard line. Trevor's operation depends on these people and their loyalty. Undermining that is a serious breach of this agreement.

05

Pets

The household currently has four cats: Mango, Mercy, Bagheera, and Peaches. Trevor is accepting all four as part of the home. That acceptance is genuine and not being given grudgingly. But it is also the ceiling -- not the floor.

There will be no additional animals in this home without Trevor's explicit approval. Not a cat. Not a dog. Not a "temporary" foster that everyone knows is never leaving. Not something found on a shopping trip. Not something brought in because it seemed like a good idea in the moment. Trevor must be consulted and must agree before any new animal enters the home. This is non-negotiable.

Trevor is well aware that the most likely future animal is a dog. A dog is on the table -- eventually. The honest timeline is at minimum one year out, possibly significantly longer. That conversation will happen when both people genuinely feel the timing is right. It will not happen because of pressure, because Kaitlyn brought it up repeatedly, or because the girls want one. It will happen when Trevor decides the timing works.

The "foster to adopt" pipeline is closed. Trevor knows exactly how that plays out: an animal comes in as temporary, becomes attached, and suddenly it is permanent. That is not happening. There are no trial animals, no short-term arrangements, and no exceptions built into this rule.

Trevor loves animals. This is not about disliking them. It is about the reality that four cats is already a full household of animals. Two of those cats joined in recent years, and both Trevor and Kaitlyn are going to be responsible for all four of them long-term -- well past when the girls leave for college. He thinks about these things. He plans ahead. And he is not signing up for an ever-growing animal count that was never agreed to.

06

Travel

Trevor travels regularly for work, golf, and personal enjoyment. Travel will continue at his discretion. Party B will not use travel as a source of conflict or guilt.

Seasonal commitments -- including time in Truckee each summer and regular trips to Palm Springs -- are part of his life and will not be treated as negotiable.

When Trevor travels, the household continues to operate normally. Party B is expected to manage the home and the girls without distress calls unless there is a genuine emergency.

07

Finances

Trevor's finances are his own. He manages them independently. There will be no expectation of full financial transparency, shared accounts, or joint financial decision-making unless explicitly agreed upon in writing.

Household expenses will be handled at Trevor's discretion. He will cover what he determines he will cover. Party B is expected to contribute at an agreed-upon level.

Trevor's spending on his lifestyle -- golf, wine, travel, dining, tools, and team -- is not subject to comment or critique. He has earned his standard of living and will maintain it.

08

Conflict & Communication

Arguments that escalate to yelling, name-calling, door slamming, or any form of aggression will not be tolerated. If a conversation reaches that point, it ends immediately and resumes only when both parties are calm.

Passive aggression, silent treatment, and cold energy directed at Trevor are equally unacceptable. These behaviors are toxic and will not be normalized.

Issues should be raised calmly, directly, and privately -- never in front of the girls, never in front of guests or staff.

Trevor is not willing to spend his life walking on eggshells in his own home. The baseline energy of this household will be warm, calm, and positive.

09

The Girls & Events

Trevor loves the girls. That is not in question. But living together does not mean attending every event. Sharing a home does not obligate Trevor to be at every game, recital, or out-of-town trip. That was never the arrangement and it is not starting now.

When the girls have an out-of-town event or a weekend away, Trevor sees that as his time -- time to travel, golf, see friends, and live his life. That is a healthy and honest perspective, and it will not be guilted away.

Trevor's intention is always to show up for the girls. Intention is not a guarantee of attendance. When life, work, or other commitments take priority on a given weekend, that is allowed. It does not make him a bad person or an absent presence in their lives.

Trevor shows up in the ways that matter to him -- financial support, presence at home, real conversations, and being someone the girls can count on. That is his version of being there and it is enough.

When Trevor does not attend an event, there will be no complaints, no rolling eyes, no lectures, and no lingering tension about it. Not in the moment, not after the fact. He does not owe an explanation for how he chooses to spend his time.

Kaitlyn is the primary parent. That is her role and she is good at it. Trevor is a meaningful presence -- not a co-parent on a mandatory attendance schedule. That distinction is real and it will be respected.

9B

Planning & Trips

Trevor wants the girls to have incredible experiences -- great vacations, memorable school breaks, real trips. Winter break, spring break, summer -- these are opportunities and he is genuinely enthusiastic about making them happen. That does not change. What changes is who is responsible for making them happen.

Historically, Kaitlyn has been poor at initiating and driving trip planning. Dates approach, nothing gets booked, and Trevor ends up blamed for the gap. That pattern ends here. It is explicitly named because it has been a recurring source of friction and it is not acceptable to repeat it.

Kaitlyn owns trip planning. That means bringing the ideas, flagging the dates early, researching the options, and pushing Trevor to commit and book. Trevor is happy to fund it and show up fully -- but he is not going to be the one reminding himself to plan a family vacation. That is not how this works.

If a school break comes and goes without a trip or a meaningful experience for the girls, that is not Trevor's fault by default. If Kaitlyn did not bring it up, plan it, push for it, or book it -- she does not get to assign blame after the fact. The window closed because nobody drove it forward.

Trevor is not going to be a last-minute scramble. Bring it up early. Have a plan. Give him something to say yes to. That is the entire ask. He will say yes to good ideas. He will not respond well to vague complaints that things never get planned.

10

Truckee

Every summer, Trevor spends three to four months at his home in Truckee. This is one of the genuinely rare privileges of the life he has built, and he will not feel guilty for it -- not for going, not for being there, not for any of what happens while there.

Trevor will have a chef in Truckee. There will be no complaints about the chef, no resentment toward the chef, and no comments about what having a chef means. It is part of how he lives.

Trevor will have friends come to visit and stay at the house. He will entertain. There will be golf days with just the guys, boat days with just the guys, and dinners with just the guys. These are not events Kaitlyn is owed an invitation to. No complaints about any of it.

When Kaitlyn and the girls are in Truckee with Trevor, he will balance his time. He is not saying he will disappear. He is saying she should know going in that his social life does not pause because the family is present. That is not a surprise that happens after arrival -- it is the arrangement, stated clearly now.

Trevor looks forward to the entire summer. It is the part of his year he protects the most. One day of bad vibes in Truckee is one too many. He will not spend the season managing someone's emotions about how he chooses to spend his time there.

This is who he is. He likes people. He likes being surrounded by friends. He likes his lifestyle and has worked hard to have it. Accepting Trevor means accepting this. If Kaitlyn wants to be part of this life, the cost of admission is that she embraces it -- not tolerates it, not endures it -- actually embraces it. Anything less will show, and he will notice.

11

Repeat Offenses, Public Conduct & Personality

Trevor will forgive something once. If an issue is raised, addressed, and acknowledged -- and then the same behavior happens again -- that is not a mistake. That is a pattern. And Trevor does not live with patterns he has already asked to be fixed. The second time is a serious problem.

There will be no public bickering. Not in the Las Vegas house, not in Truckee, not in front of guests, not in front of the girls, not in front of staff. If something needs to be addressed, it is addressed privately, calmly, and when both people are ready to have that conversation constructively.

Trevor cares deeply about how people in his home and around him feel. When guests are present, their experience matters to him. He prioritizes the energy of the room over appeasing someone's bad mood. If Kaitlyn is bringing tension into a space where others can feel it, that is a breach of this agreement.

People notice bickering. They notice tension. They notice when someone is being cold or difficult. Trevor is acutely aware of this and will not allow his home or his social life to carry that energy. If emotions cannot be kept in check around others, the living arrangement is not going to work.

Trevor jokes. A lot. It is how he connects, how he shows affection, and how he shows he's comfortable with someone. When he jokes with Kaitlyn, it is because he cares about her. That is his love language, not an attack on her character.

If Kaitlyn cannot receive his humor without taking offense, getting upset, or turning it into an argument, they are not compatible for a shared living situation. He is not going to change who he is. Muting his personality in his own home is not an option.

12

Accountability

Trevor is not unreasonable. Mistakes happen. Problems happen. People drop the ball. None of that is the issue. The issue is what comes after -- specifically, whether the person being addressed takes ownership of it or deflects.

When Trevor raises an issue, he expects three things: accountability, an apology, and a solution. That is all. That is the entire ask. He is not looking for a debate, a counter-narrative, or a ten-minute explanation of why it wasn't her fault.

Excuses are not accountability. Deflecting blame, explaining context, or shifting the focus to something Trevor did -- none of that is accountability. He will see through it immediately and it will make the situation significantly worse.

Victim mentality is a non-starter. The moment a conversation about Kaitlyn's behavior turns into Kaitlyn being the one who is hurting -- the moment the focus shifts from the issue to her feelings about being called out -- that conversation is over. Trevor has zero patience for that dynamic.

Attitude, anger, arguments, and hostile energy in response to being addressed are equally unacceptable. If raising a concern creates a hostile environment, Trevor will stop raising concerns altogether. And when Trevor stops raising concerns, it means the relationship is ending -- not that things are fine.

Trevor is fair. He will not hold things over someone's head after they've been resolved. But if the same issue keeps recurring, he will name it as a pattern. He expects to see real, consistent change -- not temporary improvement that fades in two weeks once the pressure is off.

Accountability is not a punishment. It is the basic foundation of a functional relationship. If it cannot be offered without defensiveness or drama, the relationship cannot function.

13

Drama & Relationship Talks

Trevor's life is not going to be defined by hours-long relationship talks, ongoing drama, or constant processing of issues. That is not the life he is living and not the one he intends to live. He has worked too hard and built too much to spend his free time in emotional debriefs.

The life he is building looks like this: joy, laughter, good friends, shared experiences, separate lives that come together well. She has her friends, he has his friends, they have shared friends. They do things together and things apart. Everything is good. That is the target.

Drama and serious relationship talks sit at the absolute bottom of Trevor's priority list. He is naming this directly so there are no surprises. If she expected this arrangement to come with guaranteed access to his full attention whenever she wants to process something, that expectation needs to be adjusted now.

If things are not on good terms and an opportunity arises to go golf, go on a trip, or go to dinner with friends -- Trevor will choose that opportunity. 100 out of 100 times. Not 99. That is not a threat. It is simply what happens when someone's time and energy have value and drama is not competing well for them.

This does not mean issues will never be addressed. When there is a genuine window -- a calm moment, no competing priorities -- Trevor will have the conversation. But it will happen on his terms and his timing, not on demand and not under pressure.

What Trevor will prioritize is having fun with Kaitlyn. Good times. Laughs. Real connection. That is what he wants from this relationship. The more she shows up as happy, independent, and supportive of his life -- the better this arrangement becomes for everyone in it.

Independence is not a red flag -- it is an asset. A partner who has her own life, her own joy, and her own sense of self does not need Trevor to manage her emotions. That version of Kaitlyn is the one this arrangement was designed for.

14

Independence

Trevor's life does not revolve around having a partner. He goes out on his own, works, socializes, travels, plays golf, and has dinner with friends without needing someone alongside him. His independence is not a problem -- it is one of the things that makes him who he is. He expects the same from Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn needs to have her own life -- her own hobbies, her own friends, her own activities, her own interests. Whether that is golf, tennis, Pilates, yoga, the gym, or something else entirely, she needs to be filling her own days with things that are hers and have nothing to do with Trevor.

She should be able to go on trips without Trevor, make plans without Trevor, and spend time with her own people -- and genuinely enjoy it. A partner who can only function when her partner is present is not a good match for how Trevor lives.

Not every trip gets taken together. Not every weekend is shared. That is healthy. The goal is two people who have full, interesting lives independently -- and choose to bring those lives together. Not two people who are only complete when attached to each other.

When Trevor goes off and does his thing, the reaction should be genuine good vibes -- hoping he has a great time, not resentment that she wasn't included. And vice versa. When Kaitlyn goes off and does her own thing, Trevor wants that for her. That is the energy this household runs on.

Kaitlyn not having a traditional job does not excuse a lack of personal investment in her own life. Being a mother is her first priority and she is good at it -- that is acknowledged fully. But motherhood is not a complete identity. She still needs to pursue things, develop herself, and stay engaged with the world outside the home.

A person who has built their own full life -- with their own friendships, passions, and sense of self -- does not need to control or monitor their partner. That version of Kaitlyn makes this relationship work. A version that is reliant, idle, or socially dependent does not.

Moving back to Southern Highlands is not just a change of address -- it is a lifestyle. This is a community built around people who are active, social, and connected. Tennis, golf, the club, the neighborhood -- these are real opportunities to build a life, make genuine friendships, and put herself in rooms with good people. Trevor wants Kaitlyn to take that seriously and actually lean into it.

The same goes for the girls. This environment shapes kids. Good schools, good families, good habits. Zoe and Willow deserve access to that world -- and it's available to them here if the people around them show up for it.

Most people don't get access to this kind of community. Trevor is not asking Kaitlyn to merely tolerate it -- he is inviting her into it. That invitation comes with an expectation: engage with it genuinely. Network. Meet people. Build something of her own here. The lifestyle is part of the move, and embracing it fully is part of the agreement.

15

The Past

Trevor is fully aware of what happened. He owns it. He is not running from it or pretending it did not occur. That acknowledgment has been given. What happened, happened. The question now is whether both people are actually ready to move forward -- and this section is about what that requires.

Choosing to move in together is a declaration that the past is forgiven. Not mostly forgiven. Not forgiven for now. Forgiven and closed. The act of signing this agreement and sharing a home means the slate is wiped. It cannot be conditionally forgiven and then retrieved when things get difficult.

The past does not get brought up. Not in arguments. Not when she is angry. Not as leverage, not as context, not as evidence. Not ever. If she moves in, she has made the decision that it no longer belongs in the conversation. That decision has to be real.

If it is brought up after they are living together, the relationship ends. Immediately. Not because Trevor is being punitive -- but because it signals that she has not actually forgiven him. And living with someone who has not genuinely moved on is not something Trevor will do.

It has been two years. In that time, the incident has been raised on a monthly -- sometimes weekly -- basis. That pattern is the clearest possible signal that real forgiveness has not yet happened. Trevor is not judging her for that. People move at different speeds. But he is naming it clearly: if the resentment is still this present, she is not yet ready to live together.

Moving in before the forgiveness is real would be a mistake for both of them. It does not help her heal. It does not give the relationship a fair start. And it puts Trevor in a home where something he cannot change is being held over him indefinitely. That is not a home. That is a cage.

If this arrangement ends for any reason, the logistics of that separation will have been agreed upon in writing before they move in. Both parties will know ahead of time what happens to the living situation, so that when or if that moment comes, the process is calm and handled -- not a crisis that unfolds in real time.

16

The Permanence of This Agreement

This is not a document that gets signed today and quietly forgotten in two months. This agreement is permanent. It is the standard and the precedent being set right now -- six months from now, two years from now, six years from now. It does not expire. It does not fade. It is what they agreed to.

Whenever there is hesitation, confusion, or a moment where the terms of this arrangement are being tested, Trevor will bring this agreement back up. That is not a threat. That is exactly what a signed agreement is for.

Yes -- Trevor will hold Kaitlyn to this. That is the point. She knew what she was agreeing to when she signed it. She was not rushed. She was not pressured. She took her time, thought it through, and put her name on it. That matters. That carries weight.

If any part of this agreement is broken, Trevor will name it, reference this document, and hold her fully accountable. Surprise, shock, hurt, and arguments are not appropriate responses to being held to something she agreed to in writing. She is not a victim of this document -- she is its co-author.

To be explicitly clear: Kaitlyn is signing this voluntarily. Trevor is not forcing anything. She has every right to take time, process, reflect, and decide whether this is a life she genuinely wants and is capable of living. If it is not, that is an honest and acceptable answer. But once she signs, the choice has been made.

Trevor will not be bait-and-switched. He will not watch someone sign this document, move in, and then gradually revert to old patterns while acting as if the agreement does not exist. What is written here is what they are living. That is the deal. There is no version of this arrangement where the agreement is signed but not honored.

17

Poker

Trevor's relationship with poker has changed significantly. He went from hosting multiple games a week -- running the operation, being the hub -- to now simply being a player who shows up occasionally. He does not host anymore. That chapter is over. But playing is not going anywhere, and it never will.

Poker is social. It is strategic. It teaches how to manage risk, read people, and stay composed under pressure. The highest-stakes games in the world are full of successful entrepreneurs who play for exactly these reasons. It is not a vice -- it is a long-standing part of who Trevor is, going back to when he played professionally.

Trevor will be transparent: there will be atmosphere models at most of the games he plays in. That is the reality of that environment. He is not hiding it. He is stating it directly so it cannot be used as ammunition later. He is aware of his past mistakes, he owns them, and he is moving forward from them -- not repeating them.

If they are living together and moving forward, the trust is being rebuilt from this point. That means when Trevor says he is going to play poker, the response is not rolling eyes, not silence, not visible sadness, not a hostile evening afterward. The response is: good luck, I hope you win. That is it.

Trevor is not going to hide poker from Kaitlyn, apologize for it, or tiptoe around announcing it. He will tell her what he is doing and he will do it. No eggshells. No guilt. No performance of remorse for doing something that is legal, social, and genuinely enjoyable to him.

His friends play. The games will happen. They will range from casual to serious. Trevor will be at some of them. Occasionally, if it makes sense, he may even bring Kaitlyn along. But this is primarily a piece of his world -- his social life, his downtime, his competitive outlet -- and it will be treated as such.

18

On Signing This Document

If reading this document produces anger, resentment, or the urge to argue -- that reaction is important information. It means the values and expectations in this document are not compatible with what Kaitlyn is willing to accept. And that means living together should not happen.

Trevor will not be bait-and-switched. He will not be made to feel that things are fine -- that she agrees, that she's on board, that this will work -- only to discover after moving in together that nothing has actually changed. That pattern ends here.

If there are specific terms Kaitlyn wants to discuss, that conversation is welcome -- provided it is calm, direct, and conducted in good faith. Trevor is not rigid for the sake of it. He is open to hearing her perspective if she can express it without attitude or heat.

But if that conversation turns into an argument -- if it becomes defensive, emotionally charged, or combative -- it is over. And if she cannot get through a calm discussion about this document without it becoming a conflict, living together cannot happen.

This document is not the beginning of a negotiation.
It is a reflection of who Trevor is and how he lives.
The right person will read it and feel relief -- not resistance.
If it produces anything other than that, this is not the right arrangement.

19

Independent Social Lives

Trevor is not Kaitlyn's entire social life. She must have her own friends, her own plans, and her own weekends -- independent of what Trevor is doing. This is not a request. It is a requirement for this to work.

Not every weekend will be spent together. Trevor will regularly make plans with his own friends -- and expects Kaitlyn to do the same. This is healthy. This is intentional. This is not rejection.

If Kaitlyn's entire world revolves around Trevor and the girls -- if he becomes her only source of companionship, entertainment, or validation -- resentment will build. That resentment will poison the relationship. Trevor has seen it happen and will not let it happen here.

She should be excited to see her friends. She should have plans on weekends that have nothing to do with Trevor. That independence is not a problem -- it is proof that she has a full life of her own, which is exactly what Trevor wants in a partner.

Trevor will not be made to feel guilty for spending time with his friends. He will not be pressured to cancel plans or include her by default. When he says he is going out with friends, the response should be "have fun" -- not silence, attitude, or a guilt trip.

A stable relationship requires two people who are each living full, independent lives -- and choosing to share those lives together. Not two people who have fused into one and quietly resent each other for it.

20

The Bottom Line

Trevor has built a life that most people will never have. He did it through relentless work, discipline, and sacrifice. He protects that life and the peace inside it with everything he has.

If Kaitlyn becomes Trevor's biggest source of stress, the relationship ends. Not eventually. Not after more chances. This is the hard line that exists above every other term in this document.

Trevor's life is demanding by design. He carries enormous professional and financial weight every single day. His home and his relationship exist to be a source of peace, warmth, and rest -- not to add to that weight.

The moment the relationship consistently generates more stress than it relieves -- the moment Trevor is regularly dreading conversations, walking on eggshells in his own home, or losing sleep over how Kaitlyn is feeling about something he said or did -- he is done.

This is not a threat. It is not negotiating leverage. It is simply the truth, stated clearly and in writing, so there is no ambiguity: a person who loves him does not cost him his peace. A person who consistently costs him his peace is not the right person for him, regardless of how much he cares about her.

Kaitlyn will not lose Trevor to another person.
Kaitlyn will not lose Trevor to work.
Kaitlyn will lose Trevor if she becomes his biggest source of stress.
That is the only real risk in this relationship. She should treat it accordingly.

21

This Is Our Moment

Eight years. That is not nothing. Eight years of knowing each other, of showing up for each other, of being woven into each other's lives in ways that do not just disappear. Trevor loves Kaitlyn. He loves Zoe. He loves Willow. He looks at them as his family. That has not changed and it will not change, regardless of what happens next.

What happened between them was a bump in the road. A painful one. But it was a bump -- not the end. And what is being laid out in this document is not a punishment or a wall. It is an invitation. An invitation to do this right. To reset. To build something that actually lasts.

If this agreement feels too hard to uphold, that is okay. That is a valid answer, and Trevor would rather know it now than discover it later. But he does not believe that is where Kaitlyn lands. He believes she is strong enough for this. He believes she has wanted this reset as much as he has. He believes this is their moment -- and he is excited for it.

The girls will always have Trevor. That is permanent. If they need him last minute, he is there. If they need him to fly across the country, he is on the plane. That does not change based on the status of the relationship -- because that is who he is. He cares about people. He takes on more than he should so that the people around him can have easier lives. Kaitlyn, Zoe, and Willow are the most important people in the world to him.

The girls are watching. They are learning what a relationship looks like -- what it means for a man to be present, to be loving, to work hard, to be someone you can count on. What they see in this house will set the standard for how they allow others to treat them for the rest of their lives. That matters enormously to Trevor. He wants them to see love. He wants them to see respect. He wants them to see two people who had a hard chapter and chose to come back to each other -- and built something better because of it.

He wants this house to feel like a home. Full of warmth, full of laughter, full of good energy that everyone can feel the moment they walk through the door. No eggshells. No held breath. Just a family that chose each other.

It has been a bumpy ride.
But we are still here.
This is our opportunity to reset. And I am so ready for it.

I love you. I love those girls. Let's prove everybody wrong.

Cohabitation Agreement

Signatures